


Only a Crack in this Castle of Glass

by IcyPanther



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s06e01 Omega Shield, Fix-It, Fix-it fic, Gen, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Missing Scene, Post-Episode: s06e01 Omega Shield, Protective Hunk (Voltron), Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:07:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21901456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcyPanther/pseuds/IcyPanther
Summary: Something strange is going on with Lance. The wincing and shivering and worried, scared glances in Allura’s direction mean something and Hunk is going to get to the bottom of it. But nothing could have prepared him for what he found.  / “Allura was in trouble. And I… I shielded her. Me and Red. And… and we got hit. And…” Lance audibly swallowed again, voice even quieter and Hunk felt faint. “And I… I died.”Or; the missing scene fic where Hunk (and the rest of Team Voltron) discover Lance died at Omega Shield and what this now means for them all.
Relationships: Allura & Lance (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) & Everyone
Comments: 106
Kudos: 730





	Only a Crack in this Castle of Glass

**Author's Note:**

> **Timeline notes:** post season six episode one  
>  **Warning notes:** none  
> 

_Take me down to the river bend_  
_Take me down to the fighting end_  
_Wash the poison from off my skin_  
_Show me how to be whole again_

_Fly me up on a silver wing_  
_Past the black where the sirens sing_  
_Warm me up in a nova's glow_  
_And drop me down to the dream below_

_'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass_  
_Hardly anything there for you to see_  
_For you to see_

_Bring me home in a blinding dream_  
_Through the secrets that I have seen_  
_Wash the sorrow from off my skin_  
_And show me how to be whole again_

_'Cause I'm only a crack in this castle of glass_  
_Hardly anything there for you to see_  
_For you to see_

_—Castle of Glass_ , Linkin Park

Something strange was going on with Lance.

It’s not that he was being odd in the way Hunk knew Coran could be, or the withdrawn way Shiro had become, or even the sleep-deprived-tech-gremlin mode Pidge could fall into. He was just being… strange.

Hunk had known Lance since they were kids. He knew what homesickness looked like. He knew what those lower moments of when Lance doubted his self-worth consisted of. He knew the symptoms for when Lance was feeling sick and was actually such (if it was a minor thing he’d moan about it for the universe to hear but if it were actually serious he’d be quiet as he didn’t like to inconvenience others).

This was none of those.

This was for the past two days Lance being abnormally quiet in group settings, zoning out (and not just during long-winded coalition briefings) and then jerking back to the present with a little gasp and wide eyes. This was Lance shooting glances at Allura but instead of the little peeks Hunk was familiar with followed normally by a blush or a small grin these ones were both hesitant, awed and… and _scared._

Not of Allura, Hunk didn’t think (God, he hoped not), because Lance was still talking with her and meeting her eyes and for the most part he was still relaxed around her (and Hunk knew if Lance really were uncomfortable his shoulders would be rolled in and his hands tucked into his jacket pockets and they _weren’t_ ) but something was off although strangely Hunk was catching her looking at Lance a few more times too than normal and with an expression of… concern?

He’d originally thought maybe there had been something between the two of them, but that didn’t account for Lance’s new habit of wincing as though in pain.

Lance was constantly bringing a hand up to his head like he was trying to push away a headache and just as often bringing his hands to his chest and giving it a rub, seemingly subconsciously, coming to rest a splayed hand on his heart. Lance had always been comforted by the sound of a heartbeat, Hunk knew, but it was normally done by pressing his head or hand to someone else’s.

Not like that. Not his own.

And then there was the shivering.

Hunk had at first thought Lance was getting sick, but when he’d asked Lance had said no and he didn’t sound as though he were trying to cover anything up. _“Just cold in here,”_ he’d said when Hunk had pressed about the fact he kept shaking, hands once more layered over his heart before he’d started as though realizing they were there and tucking them far too casually into his jean pockets instead. 

He hadn’t been sleeping well, Hunk didn’t think, as his complexion was paler than it should be and there were circles beneath his eyes that others might not notice but Hunk sure did as watching Lance was almost all it felt like he did the last two days. He’d tried inquiring gently, going with homesick as that topic, while painful, was safe, and Lance had nodded but he hadn’t met Hunk’s eyes as he did so.

He was lying and Lance never, _never,_ lied to Hunk. Ever.

Hunk had been trying his best to be patient and wait Lance out. He knew he was nosy but he knew Lance did best when he didn’t feel cornered and given that something was wrong, it had to be wrong, he didn’t want to push him away at this point. He would wait one more day and if things didn’t improve then he was going in. 

But now Lance had missed dinner.

And that was after he’d missed lunch too.

He’d disappeared right after training that day after saying he was going to take a shower.

But he hadn’t been in the bathroom (and Lance’s showers could take upwards of an hour if he wasn’t being rushed or kicked out as others wanted to use it) and while it was concerning Hunk thought maybe he’d just been tired (training had been super early and Lance had definitely not been sleeping well, that much was true at least) and had chosen to sleep instead.

But not this long.

And Hunk was done waiting.

“Lance,” he rapped on the bedroom door next to his own. “I’m coming in.”

They never asked and normally didn’t knock, but given the circumstances Hunk felt a warning, as little as it was, was necessary.

He found Lance curled up in his bed, buried beneath quilts and the room far warmer than any other in the castle, with all of the lights on and the soft strains of some Altean orchestra coming from the music player on the desk. 

“H-Hunk,” Lance stuttered, shifting under his blankets. 

His cheeks were flushed now, no doubt from the warm room.

Hunk crossed to the bed in three steps and pulled the topmost quilt off, ignoring the weak protested “hey!” and yanked off another before Lance wormed his hands out — no doubt tucked against his chest — and clung to the remaining two. 

“Lance, _hermano,_ you’re flushed,” Hunk cut right to the point. “I think you’re sick.”

“I’m not,” Lance insisted, although ocean eyes cast to the side. “I’m just… cold.”

“If you’re cold, you’re sick. And if you’re not sick then you’re not cold. And given my observations and your denials you’re not sick. So...” Hunk tugged at the blanket Lance was holding onto and softened his voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Wrong?” Lance parroted. “Nothing’s wrong.”

He still wouldn’t meet Hunk’s eyes.

“Did something happen between you and Allura?”

 _That_ garnered a response and Lance met his gaze with wide eyes, vehemently shaking his head. “What? No! Why would you ask that? Why would you think that? Nothing happened between us. Absolutely nothing.”

Uh huh.

Lance seemed to realize he was putting his foot into his mouth as his jaw snapped with an audible click and he rolled onto his side, back now to Hunk. 

“Lance,” Hunk eased himself onto the side of the bed. “What happened?”

“Nothing!” came a near squeak. And then quieter, “Nothing, Hunk. Not… not like that.”

But something _had_ happened and it involved Allura.

Hunk ran through the timeline of events. Two days ago… two days ago had been Omega Shield. It had been Hunk’s first mission he’d overseen and there had been hiccups but ultimately everything had come together, even after the little scare with Shiro as Pidge reported he’d passed out. Coran though had given him a clean bill of health when they’d gotten back, recommending he drink some more fluids, perhaps. Otherwise to his knowledge no one had suffered any injuries and needed to use the cryo-pods.

But…

But Lance both hated to inconvenience others _and_ he hated they cryo-pods; he’d never come outright and said it (and Hunk didn’t think he wanted to admit it even to himself) but Lance had developed symptoms of claustrophobia since they’d come up in space and the cryo-pods were rather small.

Hunk’s eyes narrowed.

Lance was hurt.

He jammed his hands under the blankets, aiming for Lance’s chest where he’d been holding his hands lately. Broken ribs? Bruised lung? 

“Hunk!” Lance gasped as his hands went beneath the baseball tee, Lance’s bare skin hot to the touch and Hunk’s hands no doubt freezing to him, and he wriggled unsuccessfully away. “Wh-what are you—?”

Hunk poked and prodded as gently as he could even though he moved quickly, seeking any sign of an injury or sensitive spot. 

Nothing.

He wasn’t quitting yet.

He slipped one arm beneath Lance’s back and pushed him to sitting, lifting up the slightly damp with sweat shirt then for a visual confirmation.

No bruises. No marks.

But although there was no injury there was something more telling in the way Lance had stopped protesting, merely slumped as Hunk finished his examination with his eyes cut to the side. 

And he was shivering.

But…

But maybe it wasn’t so much shivering as it was shuddering.

Hunk tugged back down Lance’s shirt and then gathered the slender, shaking form into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly. “What happened?”

Lance gave a shake of his head against Hunk’s chest.

“Do you need to go to the infirmary?”

Another head shake.

“Do you want me to get Coran?”

Another shake. 

“Lance,” Hunk gave him a little squeeze now that he’d at least confirmed he wasn’t actually hurt, “I’m not leaving until you talk to me. You’re hurting, _hermano._ Let me help. Please. _Por favor.”_

“I’m fine,” came the barely audible whisper. 

Hunk didn’t say anything.

“I’m fine,” Lance repeated. “Everything’s fine. Really.”

“It’s not. You’re upset. Did… did something happen at Omega Shield?”

He felt Lance stiffen.

Bingo.

Hunk’s stomach lurched then.

Something had happened at Omega Shield. The mission _he’d_ been in charge of. And he hadn’t even known.

“Lance, what happened?” he asked more urgently. Lance and Allura had been in charge of maneuvering the shields back in place so the Red Lion could weld them back together. They’d done so, obviously, or none of them would abe alive right now. But Hunk hadn’t known the particulars of the mission and although he vaguely recalled asking Lance soon after they’d returned Lance and had instead made a mention about how awesome his best friend was and he’d demanded to know everything about Hunk’s side.

And Hunk had never gone back to it, distracted and glowing with his own success and story.

God.

What… what kind of friend was he? What kind of leader? His successful mission hadn’t apparently been so successful after all if it was affecting Lance like this and he hadn’t even known. He had never even done a debriefing, now that he thought about it, and while he couldn’t hold it against Shiro (out of sorts) the fact Allura hadn’t insisted should have been a giant red flag.

What had happened?

“Lance,” he gave him a squeeze. “ _Háblame, por favor.”_

He heard Lance swallow. 

And then he finally spoke.

“Re… remember how the, that sun’s energy kept, um…”

“Discharging?” Hunk filled in as Lance trailed off; the entire purpose of the shields that Sendak and his forces had broken apart.

A nod. “Um, yeah. And, and remember how it’d be, um, very bad if we got hit by it?”

Hunk croaked out a “yes,” his stomach in knots.

Lance hadn’t…but he was right here, in his arms. 

He was okay.

… wasn’t he?

“Allura was in trouble, and… and I…”

Lance didn’t need to say more. 

Hunk already knew what had happened.

Lance was determined to shield everyone from harm.

Even when it placed him right into its path.

And yet hearing it vocalized was like someone had just plunged a dagger into his heart.

“I shielded her. Me and Red. And… and we got hit. And…”

Lance audibly swallowed again, voice even quieter.

“And I… I died.”

Hunk took back his earlier assessment of the dagger.

 _Now_ someone had plunged it into his heart, twisted it, pulled it out and did it again.

“What?” he choked out, even though he’d heard Lance the first time. 

Lance had…

Had…

Oh God.

“Allura, she…” Lance was still talking. “She healed me. I, I don’t know how, really, but she…” his hands had drifted once more to his chest. “I woke up and, and she was there and…”

“Lance,” Hunk was aghast. “Why didn’t you… why did you… _why?”_

He apparently wasn’t as articulate aloud as he was in his head. He felt sick. He barely swallowed back the tickle of bile from his stomach. 

“I didn’t know,” Lance whispered. “At first. I thought… I thought I’d just been knocked out, y’know? But… but I was so _tired_ and c-cold and Allura said… she said…” he swallowed again. “My heart stopped. It was stopped for a… for a few minutes. She… she brought me back.”

“Oh God,” Hunk squeezed Lance. “Oh God. Oh God.”

His mind was going in circles to join his stomach.

Lance had died.

Lance had died.

Lance had _died._

“ _Lo siento,”_ came the soft apology and Hunk jolted.

What?

“What?” he said it aloud too. 

“I’m sorry,” Lance whispered, as though Hunk wanted to hear that again. “I—”

“Why are you saying that?” Hunk choked out. “God, Lance, why are you apologizing?”

“Because… because you’re upset. Because of m-me.”

“Of course I’m upset!” Hunk’s voice was rising in pitch. “You _died,_ Lance! You died! And you didn’t tell me!” He let out a sob. “ _Why?”_

It was another question Hunk didn’t need an answer to as it looked back at him in Lance’s desk mirror across the bed.

His own red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks said it all.

Because it would upset Hunk. It would make him worry.

And Lance didn’t like to cause others distress.

He’d kept it to himself, somehow convinced Allura to say nothing either, and tried to move past it as though he hadn’t just _died_ and had Allura not been there, not been capable of her Altean healing, he would have been _dead_ and _stayed dead._

His best friend, his brother, could have (he _did)_ died and Hunk wouldn’t have been able to do anything.

He was the one who had sent him there.

Oh God.

He’d done this.

Hunk disentangled his arms from around Lance just in time to turn to the side of the bed and upheave his dinner. 

“Hunk!”

Lance’s hands were digging into his shirt then and the fact that Lance was comforting _him_ because _he had died_ because Hunk had messed up and put him in harm’s way was so ironic it hurt.

Hunk vomited again.

And although Lance was suffering himself, he was making small soothing noises and a hand was rubbing Hunk’s back and there was a quiet murmur that there was a glass of water on the nightstand. Hunk’s stomach had settled now, he always did feel better after puking, and he reached for the aforementioned glass, swirling its contents in his mouth before spitting and adding it to the mess he’d clean up in a bit and then draining the rest.

And then he was turning around and practically dragging Lance back into his arms and burying his face into the somewhat sweaty hair that even so still smelled of Lance’s coffee-esque scented shampoo.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, words muffled but he knew Lance heard. “I’m so sorry.”

He was sorry for everything; for sending Lance into that. For freaking out now. For reacting exactly the way Lance knew he would, which was why he’d kept this to himself. 

Why he’d had to suffer alone.

Except…

Allura had known.

She had known and she hadn’t said _anything._

Hunk felt a strange surge of anger, of disappointment, in the princess. 

“Don’t be mad,” Lance whispered and Hunk realized he must have tensed too much, his shoulders tight now that he was aware of it.

“I’m not—”

“At Allura,” Lance continued and Hunk’s eyes widened. “I… I asked her not to… she, she wanted to. But… but I didn’t want to worry anyone. I’m fine now. It’s… it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Hunk said, although his anger had deflated at Allura. “It’s not, Lance. You _died._ You, you…”

He’d always figured one day Lance’s tendency to protect others was going to hurt him moreso than a reaming from a teacher or detention or demerits. He’d seen it within the first few days up in space where Lance had put himself between Coran and a bomb blast. He’d seen it countless other times both in battle and in taking the blame for something that hadn’t gone right or hijinks in the castle.

But he’d always thought at most Lance would be _hurt._ Not that Lance would _die._

“You died,” he repeated, tightening his embrace as though that would be enough to keep Lance safe from his own selflessness. “You d-died.”

“I’m sorry,” Lance whispered again. “I just… I… she was in danger and, and…”

“And you had to do something,” Hunk finished quietly. He let out another sob. “Goddamnit, Lance.”

Lance startled in his arms, no doubt at the swear.

Hunk knew he rarely, rarely cursed. 

This situation called for one.

“Goddamnit,” he choked out. “Goddamnit, Lance.”

Telling Lance not to do something so, so _reckless,_ was useless because if someone was in danger Lance would do anything and everything to protect them. He could not force Lance to promise him because Lance would break it and then he’d feel guilty for doing so.

Hunk just…

Just wanted him to be _safe._

_Alive._

He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost Lance. And to know it happened, that he hadn’t even known all this time…

God.

Lance gave a tremble in his arms and Hunk’s mouth parted.

That was right. 

“Are you still hurt?” he asked. “Did, did something…?”

Lance shook his head. “No. I’m, I’m okay.”

“You keep shaking,” Hunk pointed out. “And I’ve seen you wincing and holding your chest. And head.”

“I’m okay,” Lance said it again. “It’s like… I, I’m not actually hurt but sometimes… sometimes it’s like I can… _feel it._ Being… being dead.” He gave another shudder. “It’s cold. And dark. And, and it hurts right here,” Hunk could feel him shifting his hands, no doubt placing them atop his heart. “Allura told me she used quintessence. And it’s centered at the heart and the head. So… so I’m depleted, some. It’ll come back with rest and I should feel better, but…”

But right now he didn’t.

Right now he was still suffering. And experiencing pain and exhaustion and…

“Flashbacks?” Hunk asked quietly, recalling Lance’s zoned out moments in which he came back with gasps and the touches of panic.

A nod.

“Oh, Lance.” 

“It’s getting better. Promise,” Lance turned, angling his head up so ocean eyes caught Hunk’s honey. 

There was no lie in them.

Hunk let out a small breath of relief.

At least there was that.

But…

But Lance was talking about the symptoms of him _dying,_ not the cause of why it came about.

And the cause was something he — they _all_ — needed to do something about.

This could not happen again.

Ever.

“We need to talk to the team,” Hunk said, decision made.

Lance quickly shook his head. “No, no. We don’t—”

“We do,” Hunk interrupted. “They… they need to know, _hermano._ They need to know so this never, _never,_ happens again.”

“But—”

 _“Now,”_ Hunk said, not taking any excuses or time to make them.

Lance slumped in his arms.

“They’re going to be so upset,” he said, so soft Hunk barely heard it. “I, I can’t—”

“You can,” Hunk interjected. “And you’re not doing it alone. That’s the whole problem, Lance. You did this on your own. You, you didn’t even call it in or—”

“There was no time. Allura was—”

“And so you had to be her shield?” Hunk’s voice was growing hot. Lance did this. All the time. He always put others ahead of himself without even _thinking_ about himself because…

Because he always thought others were more important. And it never stopped hurting Hunk that Lance could think of himself as anything short of amazing. 

“She could have died!” Lance was wriggling out of Hunk’s embrace, eyes flashing now although they were still bright with tears. 

“And you did!”

“I,” Lance floundered. “I—”

The door opened with a _whoosh_ and cut off anything else Lance was going to say.

“You two are loud,” Pidge said, straight to the point although despite the blunt words there was concern in her eyes and she glanced between them. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s f—”

“No,” Hunk spoke over Lance. “Things are not okay. Because Lance here went and died the other day.”

Pidge’s eyes widened and then narrowed and she shook her head. “That’s not funny, Hunk.”

There was the slightest waver to her voice.

“No,” he agreed. “It’s not.”

She gave a sharp little inhale before she turned to Lance, who had directed his gaze to his blanket. “You died?” she asked quietly, something desperate in the words for him to deny it.

He didn’t say anything.

“You died? You fucking died?” she rose in pitch. “What the _hell,_ Lance? What the fuck happened? _When_ did this happen?” She answered her own question a moment later. “Omega Shield. What the fuck were you doing? Why the fuck—?”

“Pidge,” Shiro’s head popped around the corner, looking more tired than Hunk had seen him lately. He hadn’t been in the kitchen for dinner either, come to think of it, and based on the mused hair on the side of his head they’d woken him up. “Language.”

“Did you know Lance fucking died, Shiro? Or is that—”

“Lance died?” Shiro looked more awake now and yet somehow even more tired.

His head swiveled to Lance. “Lance, this had better not be a joke.”

“It’s not,” Hunk spoke again before Lance could try and say anything otherwise. “He did, Shiro. At Omega Shield when he was protecting Allura. She revived him,” he said as he saw both other Paladins’ mouths open. 

“So Allura knows?” Pidge said darkly. 

“Pidge, no,” Lance finally spoke then, although he ducked his head almost immediately. “It’s, it’s not like that,” he finished quieter.

“What is it like then?” Pidge demanded. 

“I—”

“Ah hem,” a cough sounded from the hallway and Coran’s head popped in between Shiro and Pidge. “I do apologize, Paladins, but I was strolling by and was able to see the additional persons partially into the hallway and the bedrooms are only designed to hold a maximum of three occupants — safety precautions, you understand — and by my count—”

“Coran,” Pidge interrupted him. “Did you know Lance died at Omega Shield?”

Coran broke off immediately.

“Did I know…?” he repeated before jewel eyes zeroed in on Lance, who was now sitting completely away from Hunk, blanket worried into his hands and shoulders hunched. “Lance, lad,” his voice dropped, “is this true?”

Lance gave a jerky nod.

Coran inhaled sharply.

“Allura knows,” Pidge filled in helpfully and despite the topic Hunk was glad at how quick everyone had been to realize how _wrong_ this all was.

And yet another reason Lance would have tried to hide it.

“I see,” Coran said evenly. “If you’ll excuse me for one tick, Paladins, I will fetch the princess. And then I think we all have some things to discuss. But first… Lance, lad, look at me.”

Lance gave a shake of his head.

“Lance, look at me,” Coran repeated, and while his voice wasn’t hard it was firm and moreso than Hunk had ever heard before.

Lance slowly lifted his head.

New tears were trailing down his cheeks and he was trembling anew.

Hunk felt a surge of guilt at how upset Lance was but he squashed it as soon as it appeared. No. This was what needed to happen. Lance needed to understand how _horrified_ everyone was. How _scared._ And how much they loved him and never wanted to see him endanger himself like that again.

“Oh, my boy,” Coran murmured, and a moment later he had shoved his way between Pidge and Shiro and was kneeling at the bedside, mindful of Hunk’s vomit next to him.

“I’m sorry,” Lance choked out.

Hunk saw a tear drip down his chin.

“Now, now, none of that,” Coran murmured, reaching up and cupping Lance’s cheek. “Are you in any pain?”

Lance gave the barest shake of his head. 

“Do you wish to go to the infirmary?”

Another shake.

“All right then,” Coran rubbed his thumb to catch one of the tears and Lance’s eyes closed as he tilted into the hold. “I’ll be back in two rumbles of a garsnap’s tail.” He rose and jewel eyes traced around the room. “None of you are to leave.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Pidge said, arms crossed over her front and Shiro gave a more somber nod.

Coran swept from the room and before the door had even closed Pidge was closing the distance to the bed and then clambering atop it while Shiro murmured softly about cleaning up and made for a towel crumpled in Lance’s laundry pile to wipe up the vomit.

Pidge paused for all of a second before she flung her arms around Lance and pressed her face, glasses no doubt digging uncomfortably, into Lance’s side.

“You selfless idiot,” she mumbled, all of the heat from earlier gone. “God, Lance. You…” Her knuckles whitened where they were latched around his middle. “You actually… God.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop fucking apologizing,” she snapped, although the anger was gone.

She just sounded tired.

“Stop apologizing and just… just never do that again.” Her next words Hunk barely caught even though he was right next to her. “I can’t lose you.”

“What she said, _hermano,”_ Hunk said gently, carefully inching forward so he could place a hand back on Lance’s shoulder and put another one around Pidge, tugging them both towards him. “We can’t lose you.”

Lance sniffled.

His head was still tucked down, hidden now against Pidge’s hair. 

“Lance,” Shiro came forward then, dirty towel disposed of in the waste basket for now, and he crouched next to the bed, nearly full between the other three.

This close Hunk could make out the dark shadows beneath charcoal eyes, the slight pinched expression to his brow, and the barest patch of missed stubble on Shiro’s chin.

He… he was exhausted too. 

Their whole team was falling apart.

Hunk tightened his arms around Lance and Pidge and sent what he hoped was a comforting smile at Shiro although it felt strained with the circumstances. Still.

He’d hold them together.

Somehow.

Lance didn’t move but it was clear he had heard.

Shiro let out a soft sigh, barely an exhale, but Lance still twitched.

He always hated disappointing them, but he hated disappointing Shiro, his hero, the most.

“It is always admirable to protect others,” Shiro said softly. “But you can protect no one if you cannot protect yourself first.”

The words were blunt, perhaps more than the situation might call for, but they were true.

And Lance needed a wake up call.

Hunk still felt a surge of guilt and sadness as Lance’s shoulders shook with a sob. 

“In battle you have to make split second decisions,” Shiro continued. “And oftentimes you don’t always realize the intended consequences of those actions. We can’t change what has happened here, but we can change what we do in the future. And I need you to think about your choices, Lance, and how they affect not just yourself but others.”

Lance gave a jerky nod at both the reprimand and the advice.

“Good,” Shiro reached out his flesh hand and laid it gently on Lance’s visible knee free of the blankets. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

A flurry of footsteps from outside the door halted any further conversation and a moment later the door was sliding open, Allura stepping in and followed by Coran. The princess had clearly been winding down for the evening, a dressing robe thrown on and her hair loose without embellishment. 

Her jeweled gaze went about the room but she ultimately had eyes only for Lance and he seemed to feel it as he pulled his face free of Pidge’s hair, smeared tears decorating his cheeks.

“Lance,” she murmured.

“‘Llura,” he choked out. 

She was at his side in a blink, kneeling next to Shiro although she reached out and took Lance’s hands, trembling, between her own. 

“You have been hurting yourself,” she chided although there was no sting in the words. 

Lance only bowed his head.

“What happened?” Hunk asked. “Allura? What happened?”

He wanted, needed, the full story.

“Lance saved my life,” she said quietly, not looking at him. “At the cost of his own. And such a cost… it is not one we — not one _I_ — can afford.” 

Allura continued to relay the events Lance had hinted at in bits and pieces; they had been putting the shield back together from Sendak’s interference but the radiation was growing stronger and they were running out of time. Allura had been in the process of securing a piece when she’d felt Blue’s alarm that they were in the path of a discharge beam that they could not block.

And should it hit…

Allura had no doubt it would be fatal; the radiation at lethal levels that not even the Lions could protect them from.

Before she’d even had a moment to brace herself Lance and the Red Lion had shoved them out of the way… and they were struck instead.

Allura had exited the Blue Lion as soon as the discharge had finished, but it had been several minutes. The Red Lion had been unresponsive so she’d forced her way inside and Lance…

“He did not have a heartbeat,” her voice was heavy. “He did not draw breath. I thought… I had thought…” She took a shuddering breath. “I had only just learned the ways of Oriande and I did not know if such a thing were possible, but I had to try. I could not…” she swallowed and her hands tightened around Lance’s. 

“I attempted to heal him, just as I once did the Balmera, with my own quintessence. It… it did not work. The Balmera had been alive, if dying, but Lance… he was… I did not give up though. And I admit I still not not entirely understand how, instinct guided me above all else, I… I felt his heart beat beneath my hand.

“I debated telling him of such as when he awoke he was disoriented, confused. He did not know he had just…” she couldn’t seem to say the word. “But I did. I had to. I wanted him to understand what had happened, what his sacrifice had cost him. Because while he saved my life,” her hand tightened on Lance’s hands, “and I will forever be beyond grateful, I do not desire to live at the expense of his own.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Shiro found his voice first.

He sounded… hurt.

Betrayed.

Hunk understood that all too well.

“Lance asked me not to,” she said simply. “And in hindsight I realize that such a request would only further harm, not heal, but he… he was so…” she paused, searching for the right word.

“Scared,” she breathed the word out and Lance flinched beneath Hunk’s hand. “And hurt. And confused and I thought it best to allow him time to gather his thoughts, to reflect on what had happened. But that was in error and I take full responsibility for such.”

“No,” Lance’s voice was choked and he shook his head. “No. Allura, ‘s not your fault. It’s mine.”

He looked up then, locking gazes with Allura before tear-lined ocean eyes drifted about the room to finally meet Hunk’s. 

“I’m sorry. I… I didn’t think. I…”

“That is incorrect, my boy,” Coran rebuffed gently. “You did think, just with your heart instead of your head. It is a selfless, noble thing you did, protecting Allura, but as she said and we all agree, we do not wish to see you endanger yourself like that again.”

“But if I hadn’t—”

“I may have died,” Allura said. “Yes, that is true. But we do not know. And even if I had…” she swallowed, throat bobbing. “Even if such had been the outcome, I would plead with you to not feel blame for such. You should not ever feel that your life is expendable in protecting another.”

Lance couldn’t hide the wince at that.

“Lance,” Hunk’s voice broke. “ _Hermano,_ you’re… you’re not expendable. You know that. R-right?”

Lance didn’t answer.

A horrified silence followed as the realization that Hunk had long ago come to accept — but never to this point, never to where Lance would _sacrifice his life_ — was revealed.

Lance saw himself as expendable.

Not as important.

And he would be the shield every time if it meant he could save them.

But normally, when Hunk would demand that Lance answer in a similar vein, he’d get a quiet affirmative, sometimes a joke that he never smiled at until Lance gave a more sincere answer.

The silence…

It spoke more than the words ever did.

And how, Hunk despaired, had he missed this sudden, sharp decline? How had he not noticed that Lance had been feeling _this_ down about his place in the universe?

“The Paladins of Voltron are a team,” Shiro said into the quiet, his voice stronger than Hunk felt capable of. “And Voltron cannot be formed without all parts. That makes them equal. And that means not a single one of them is expendable in any way.”

Except, Hunk’s stomach swam, they were.

Keith had left.

He’d been replaced. 

Had… had that been when this had started? When Lance realized that the Paladins were not the Lions? That they could come and go?

God.

God, that… that had been _months_ ago. 

When was the last time Hunk had had to talk to Lance about his feelings of self-worth? About feeling valuable?

He couldn’t remember.

Because Lance had said nothing, had held it close to his heart that he was having such thoughts again, and in doing so hurt only himself. He was cracking, shattering, inside. And no matter how desperately he tried to rebuild his walls and his life he was damaging himself, hurting himself, and Hunk hadn’t even noticed.

For as much as Lance had always been glass walls to him, always able to see inside, this time he hadn’t.

And Lance’s cracks had grown and Hunk had almost lost him before he could even try to repair the damage.

His arms tightened around Lance and Hunk let out a sob.

“I concur with Number One,” Coran said, pulling Hunk from his spiral. “But I would also add this; all of you are more than your roles of Paladins. All of you are more than defenders of the universe. You are _family_ and no matter where fate may take you and along what paths, you will always be together. And family is not expendable.”

Hunk let out a shuddering sigh.

Yes.

That… that was right.

Silence fell again but it felt warmer now.

Safe.

“Lance?” Coran prompted, easing himself onto the side of the bed next to Pidge and it creaked alarmingly at all of the weight, his hand resting against Lance’s back just above Hunk’s arm. “How are we feeling?”

Lance gave a tiny shrug.

“I… I don’t know,” he whispered. “I… I just… I want everyone to be… to be safe. And, and I…”

“And we want you to be safe, dear boy,” Coran said. “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” came a breath.

Hunk could still hear the ‘but’ behind it.

Things still were not right. They were still unsaid.

“Lance, _háblame,”_ he gave him a squeeze. “Please. We’re… we’re listening.”

Even though he was afraid of what Lance was going to say.

“It’s just…” Lance’s voice was high.

He was trying not to cry. 

“It’s just… I, I don’t know. You’re all so… so _amazing_ and I’m just… me.”

Hunk felt Pidge start but he heard Coran give a gentle murmur.

No interrupting.

Lance needed to speak.

“And, and I don’t want to…” Lance gave a tiny roll of his shoulders. “But, but I don’t want anyone else to get hurt. And if I can do something… then… then I have to. I _want_ to. And Allura, you,” his eyes flicked up for the briefest second before going back to his lap, “you’re… you’re the heart of us. Of the universe. Everyone needs you. They do. And, and if they lost you…”

He trailed off, shaking his head.

“My death would indeed impact the universe to a greater degree,” Allura said and Hunk hated that she spoke the truth.

He hated that she could say that.

But he held his tongue as Allura’s eyes were soft.

Determined.

“But yours, Lance… Your death would destroy the happiness of everyone who loves you. We would be devastated. Heartbroken. And if you think that would not ripple itself into the universe you are terribly mistaken. You are not only valuable to the universe’s future, Lance, you are invaluable to all of us. And my greatest hope is that you will learn to see that.”

Allura smiled, sad and gentle. “You called me the heart but I believe such more accurately describes you. Your heart is strong, Lance, just like the young man sitting before me.”

Allura eased her and Lance’s still connected hands and pressed them upwards to his heart. “Do you feel that?” she asked quietly. “Your heartbeat? Listen. Because I never wish to hear it stop again in my lifetime. And,” her lips quirked up ever so although it wasn’t with amusement, “Alteans live for thousands of deca-phoeobs.”

Hunk found his own lips curving up even as his eyes stung with tears.

It was impossible, what Allura was asking, but the message was clear.

Lance was not allowed to die, to throw away his life, while Allura drew breath. 

And that would be for a very, very, very long time, especially if Lance was as determined as he was to keep them all safe.

“Allura,” Lance whispered.

“And should it then I shall be very cross and I may never forgive you,” Allura continued, and the words were both light and teasing and heavy with promise. “I trust you understand.”

Lance paused.

And then nodded.

“I wish to hear you say it.”

“I,” Lance licked his lips and he met Allura’s eyes. “I understand. I…” ocean eyes traveled around the room. “I, um. _Gracias._ Thank you. For… for… for…”

He didn’t need to say it.

“Don’t ever do that again,” Pidge said in answer, giving him a jab with her elbow that had Lance wincing. “Or think that about yourself.”

“I—”

“I mean it,” Pidge punctuated her words with another elbow jab. “I’ll literally beat it into you if I have to.”

“I know,” Lance said softly.

Sincerely.

“I know, Pidge,” he repeated.

She gave a satisfied nod and a smile that met her eyes, and it grew larger as Lance met hers. 

“And now, my boy,” Coran drew Lance’s attention. “How are we feeling?”

“Better,” Lance said after a pause.

It wasn’t an entirely happy answer but it was honest. And positive.

And they could work with that.

“And such a thing makes me feel better as well,” Coran said, giving Lance’s back a pat. “I imagine we all feel as such.”

Nods and murmurs around the room confirmed it.

“And with that, I must enforce the castle’s safety rules regarding room occupancy now,” Coran said and with the change in topic Hunk felt the last of the weight lift from him. “Three max so princess, Number One, it is time we took our leave.”

“Yes,” Allura agreed, rising. She leaned forward then and pressed a kiss to Lance’s cheek and Hunk barely muffled the chuckle as Lance immediately blushed. “A promise,” she said softly. She turned and pressed one to Hunk’s cheek and although Pidge protested she didn’t actually pull away as Allura placed one on her forehead after tenderly smoothing back her bangs. “I shall protect all of you and in turn you shall protect one another. But never, _never,_ at a cost we cannot afford. Do you promise?”

“I promise,” Pidge said, voice treacherously thick and Hunk said the same.

“I… I promise,” Lance whispered.

And this one, Hunk could feel, was not one that Lance would break. 

Not anymore.

“Then I bid you all pleasant dreams and a good night,” Allura said. “Coran, Shiro?”

Shiro bid them all a quiet good night as well and Hunk hoped perhaps he would find sleep a little more peaceful now. Coran’s was cheerier in nature although as he pressed a kiss to the top of Lance’s head there was something more somber in his gaze. 

“I’m going to go too,” Pidge said, glancing between them. “We’re… we’re okay though? Now?”

“Yeah,” Lance gave her a small smile. “I… I think so.”

“Then this,” she punched Lance in the shoulder, “is for worrying me. And this,” she gave him another smack, “is for scaring me. And this,” she gave him a quick, tight hug, “is because I… I love you.”

“I love you too, Pidge,” Lance murmured, returning the hug.

“You stupid, selfless idiot,” she whispered. 

She gave him one last squeeze, disentangled her arms, gave Hunk a gentle knock to his arm and the softest look he had ever seen, and she left.

“¿ _Cómo estás?_ ” Hunk asked softly as the door slid shut, just the two of them again.

It had only been about half an hour but it felt like days since Hunk had first invited himself in.

“ _Bien,”_ Lance whispered. “Really. And… and I’m really sorry for… for everything.”

“I know,” Hunk murmured. “I know. And I’m sorry too. You… you really scared me, Lance. That, that you did that. That you didn’t tell me. That you’ve been feeling so… so _sad._ Just… talk to me, okay? You know I’m always here. And, and I don’t know what I’d do without you so don’t… don’t make me have to find out.”

“I promise,” Lance murmured, resting his head back on Hunk’s chest.

Right over his heartbeat.

Hunk brought his own hand up to Lance’s, feeling the steady pulse beneath.

Strong.

Safe.

Alive. 

And no matter what the future held for them Hunk was going to make sure those things remained true.

That was his promise.

And it was sealed by the sound of a heartbeat. 

**Author's Note:**

> Commission fic (6k-7k) for brilliantbanshee back from May to write a reaction fic to the team finding out Lance had died at Omega Shield. It felt like an appropriate fic for the season given the concepts of self-sacrifice and love and coming together so I decided to post it now. 
> 
> If you enjoyed the fic, please please do leave a comment below detailing what you liked about it (the small details make my day!) Emotional support and validation is super important and appreciated and your comments mean the world. Thank you!
> 
> **(Like my works? Want to read even MORE? Visit my[Tumblr, icypantherwrites](https://icypantherwrites.tumblr.com) for details.)**  
> 


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